you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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