Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
