shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
