My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
