Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
