Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
