If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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