Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
