I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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