why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize