Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
