I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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