The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
