Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
