dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
