I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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