Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
