My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
