Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
