I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
