If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
