Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
