Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
