i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
