omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
