Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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