so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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