This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
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OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
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Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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