Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
