If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
