You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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