we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
