wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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