Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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