Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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