pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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