im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
