Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
