Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
