I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
