Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
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Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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