I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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