is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize