In the future we'll all be gay
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
