that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt