Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...