He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me