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• (970): View more from Colorado

  i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  we should probably just go check in at the police station right now

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• (387): View more from

  The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.

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• (914): View more from New York

  He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Good news my life of crime finally paid off

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  You don't want to know. Trust me.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher

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