Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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