Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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