I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
