you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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