I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
