How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
