Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
is it fun? or sober?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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