I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
