dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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