im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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